For My Valentine

Do you remember when you proposed to me? I do. It was the perfect setting (for us). We were between shows at ACL sitting in our burnt orange UT folding chairs near the AMD stage. It was the second day, Saturday, of the three day festival and I think Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings had just finished their energetic New Orleans style performance. We were totally relaxed, sitting there and enjoying the blue sky perfect temperature late September afternoon. I am not sure if you had been planning it, because you weren't visibly nervous. When you asked "the question" (which you had "play asked" before and I had "play responded" with either hesitation or "not yet."), I knew it was for real and I remember throwing my arms around you and answering without any hesitation "yes!" This photo was taken that day. :)

The rest of the day, and for a number of weeks, this was just between us. We talked and talked about what being "engaged" at our age and for the second time for both of us, should mean. As confident as we both were in our commitment to each other neither of us was sure how others would take this news so we were cautious. We started talking about rings and soon we had a plan to have one made to our custom design. You found a jewelry designer through your artist friend, Daryl and we contacted him. After several phone calls describing what we wanted and being disappointed in what he suggested, I finally put something together in powerpoint (yes, once again confirming my status as a powerpoint queen) and sent it off to him. He finally got the concept and produced a ring that is just perfect.

I wanted this ring to be something that we could both look at and be reminded of what we both love - each other, our families and our common enjoyment of the ocean. The sides of the ring with blue sapphires and diamonds represent ocean waves. The waves meet at an angled center stone, which is intended to signify our two separate families being united through us as one. There are 7 stones on each side, two diamonds and five blue sapphires. I didn't specifically design it this way, but now when I look at it, it reminds me that between the two of us we have five precious children. This is a lot to think about when I look down at my hand at least a million times a day! But I do. This is not just a piece of jewelry, it is a symbol of our life together, the joining of our pasts and our future

There seemed to be eons between the time we had the design and when the ring was finally done and in your hands. It was the week of my birthday and you were so excited to give it to me but you weren't sure when and how to do it. I think you got it on a Tuesday. You kept calling me and telling me about how beautiful it was. It seemed right that you had it all to yourself for a period of time and I know you could see everything it represents as you held it. Someone advised you not to give it to me on my birthday, which would have been impossible as it would have meant holding on to it yourself for 3 whole days! So you surprised me on the Wednesday by showing up at Chuys where my sister and Duncan were celebrating an early birthday with me. While I was expecting to get the ring this week you totally surprised me that evening.

So once we had the ring we had to start making other plans. Oh yeah, and telling our friends and families. Neither of us wanted to make a major announcement, but we did want to share our excitement the right way. We probably haven't gotten it right with everyone, but we were well intended. We both agreed that our kids were most important in our lives and that they needed to know first about any plans we made. We seriously considered over many days and weeks how we could make our kids part of any ceremony. We decided that if we included them, that all five of them would need to be there. Each one was consulted. We didn't want to rush into something over the holidays, even though it would have been convenient because all were in Austin. Figuring out another time when we could get all five together and where to do it and who else to include just became overwhelming. It started to feel like we were bound to disappoint someone even if we intended to make this a happy time for everyone. Through the long process of talking through the alternatives and sharing what each of us really wanted we landed on something that now feels right to us - a ceremony on the beach with just the two of us

Then the discussion shifted to when and where. Complicating this is that both of us want to sell our houses and find a new home that will be ours. We decided that after we are married, we want to live together - not as we do now separately in our current homes. We wanted to give at least some time to sell one of our homes before we are married with the hope that we can return to one house. In this market, who knows how long it will take to sell both houses. Now yours is on the market and mine will go on in a few weeks.

After hours on the internet we asked for help from a travel agent who listened to what we wanted (and didn't want) for our wedding and honeymoon. She guided us to a resort on the island of Antigua and we settled on the last week in March to get married on the beach. Everything can be arranged for us - we just have to show up with the required papers, go into the town and get a license. The resort will provide everything else, including witnesses. We didn't know exactly where Antigua was, other than it was a small island in the Caribbean (there are so many of them!) so here's a map.

So now it is Valentine's Day and just about five weeks from when we will be married and I want you to know how unbelievably in love I am with you and how happy you make me. All of this that I have written is like a fairy tale to me. Pinch me - I still can't believe it is real! That question you asked, what seems like a long time ago, "how do you know?" I know because it is just so obvious that we are meant to be together. People who know us have said they have never seen us happier. You make me want to be a better person. I so look forward to any time we spend together, even if all we do is run errands or watch TV. I still get butterflies! There is no nervousness - only eagerness and hope for the future! Our future. I love you, Mike.

Be my Valentine tonight and forever?